I’ve had an issue at this clinic multiple times now and something needs to be done. The first time I took my son here was around a year ago, and as irritated as I was, I let it roll off. The second time shows me a pattern of behavior that is completely unacceptable and 24 hours later I am still upset. For context, I was a single dad for the first 6 years of my son’s life. My son had some health issues when he was born. He died and was revived 12 hours after birth and spent 10 days in an incubator. I sat by his side and didn’t sleep for a week. He has had airway issues throughout his life and suspected reactive airway disease. Multiple times as a toddler I had to sleep sitting up in a chair holding him upright because he would get reoccurring bronchitis. The first time I brought him here, my then girlfriend of 2 months tagged along. The NP ignored me, interrupted me, disregarded me as I spoke, would not make eye contact with me, while directing all of her questions and statements to my new girlfriend of 2 months. As frustrating as it was, I let it slide. That was a year ago and that girl is now my fiancé. So yesterday she came along with me again when I took my son in for a cough, and just like last time the blatant disregard and behavior towards me, the patients father, was absolutely disgusting. Again, the same NP began directing all of her questions and statements towards my fiancé. I continuously tried to step in, was shut down, and then watched this NP give a “look” per say towards my fiancé, as if to say “I am speaking to you.” As if dad over here couldn’t possibly know anything about his own child. I was treated as if I was interfering by trying to speak to the healthcare provider, that I am paying, about MY CHILD. It got to a point when the NP began asking my fiancé what tests she would like to have run on MY CHILD, and I tried to interject but again watched your eyes roll down towards her as you began to brush me off, that I had to step in and explain that I am my sons parent and my fiancé is not his mother but here with me. To be fair, the NP did apologize at that point. However, a few minutes later after returning, again she began asking questions about medications and medical history to my fiancé and not me. And as much as I appreciate my fiancé for trying to help, she was answering some of these questions wrong, because obviously she has not been a part of my sons life long enough to know these answers, and at this point I had to step in again and ask my fiancé to stop and let me handle it. I shouldn’t have had to do that. I signed paperwork to bring my son into you as a patient, did I not? It clearly states on there, who the child’s parent is does it not? One time might be a bad day. Twice, a year apart, there’s an issue here that needs to be addressed. I don’t know if this is sexism, lack of respect for fathers in general, or maybe you’re just used to fathers not being in the loop. But that behavior is utterly disrespectful and completely unprofessional. Dads are not babysitters. Fathers are not secondary parents. I have changed thousands of diapers, fed thousands of bottles, taken my son to every doctors appointment of his life. I do not appreciate being treated as if I’m some deadbeat dad. When I bring my child into a doctor for treatment, I expect that I am the one who is going to be spoken to about my child. Even IF my fiancé were my sons mother, this would have still been completely unacceptable. It takes two parents to make a child, and you should address them equally if anything. But your manner of presumption, and attitude towards me, tells me that I’m not the only one you treat this way. Furthermore, you might want to consider the fact that you have shoved me aside, while speaking to a 3rd party about my child’s medical and health history, multiple times now. You know that they say about assuming. I would encourage you in the future to try and recognize that there are committed, loving fathers out here, who do in fact take their children to the doctor. Maybe be a little more aware of your behavior and treat fathers as equals.
